Monday, March 23, 2015

Saying good-bye to a fur friend is never easy...

After 15 years, 1 month and 7 days with us, our loyal fur friend Cooper has gone over the rainbow.  He was diagnosed with a brain tumor two years ago and was put on seizure medication.  He also had significant thyroid issues and was being medicated for it.  A year ago he had a vestibular event and was unable to walk.  Although medicine helped, he has been declining slowly over the last two years.  Cooper was born November 4th, 1999 and was adopted from the Homeless Animal Rescue Team on February 14th, 2000.  He shared so many happy memories over those 15 years and was definitely a great shoulder to cry on during the many tough times too.  He was laid to rest on March 21st, 2015.

I find it remarkable after losing someone how many conversations remind you of the relationship you've had over the years.  My friend Vicky reminded me how many long hikes we used to take with Cooper and his friend Max.  They would run through the woods, chase squirrels and swim in the river.  Cooper would run like a deer bounding over the brush without his leash and always came back.  Johnny reminded me of the night we went out to dinner and got back to the house to find Cooper sitting in the doorway with the door wide open!  Clearly it hadn't been shut/locked and he was just sitting there waiting for us to get home.  He was truly a one-of-a-kind dog.  We could let him out to do his business and even with woods in our backyard on Quiet Brook Place he would do his business and come back to the door and push it open with his nose.

The memory I love is one night shortly after Reagan was born that we realized he wasn't sleeping in our bedroom (which he always did).  We had to search for him and we could see him on the baby monitor lying in front of Reagan's crib.  He often would sleep in Reagan's room and was very excited when she moved to a bed and he could climb in with her.  And when Cole came home from the hospital we often would see Cooper go from one of their bedrooms to the other while they were sleeping.  Another memory that makes me laugh is Cole tipping over Cooper's dog dishes and putting all his food in his water bowl to see it float.  Cooper so faithful to the kids and you could tell he loved them dearly.  Over the years he was affectionately called "Coopy" by the kids.  Although Johnny had dogs as a kid, this was my first dog and our first "child" together.

I also find it interesting to reflect on when we miss him most.  It's amazing how many times over the last two days I caught myself thinking I need to let him out.  Or, did I give him his medicine?  Or giving him the leftover dinner food in his dog dish.  Giving him the crust from your pizza was always expected!  And of course not having him follow me or sit at my feet under my desk when I work will be a tough adjustment.  It also became a tradition three years ago to come to the school bus to get the kids.  Today was especially hard when Reagan got off the bus and said it was so sad to not have him there to greet her.

Reagan has taken it especially hard, but the kids have been pretty understanding.  They are asking good questions and I think they are handling it well.  Reagan has asked numerous times when we can go visit him in Heaven.  Of course I tell her it's going to be a VERY long time and I get to go first !  I also remind them that Kendall has never had a dog…now she gets to be with Cooper and he can take care of her!  Cole's questions are very telling about their personality differences.  His first comment after we told him Cooper had to go to Heaven was, "can we get another dog? We should name him Nova."  We talked about how we can't go to Heaven because only your spirit goes to Heaven.  So his next question was, "well then what did the vet do with his bones?"  Quickly followed with, "so how do you get to Heaven if you don't have bones?"

Cooper was truly our best friend and will never be forgotten.  We love you !





Monday, March 9, 2015

Angel Gown for Kendall

As many of you know, I took pictures of Reagan in May playing dress up in my wedding dress because I decided to donate it.  The pictures were adorable and although it was hard to box up and say good-bye to the dress, I felt like I was making the right choice.  Knowing that Angel Gowns in Virginia was inundated with dress donations after their Channel 7 news broadcast, I wasn't surprised I didn't hear back from anyone.  If you want to watch the broadcast about this amazing group of women, here is the link on YouTube.

I did include a letter with my dress about our journey with a picture of our precious angel, Kendall, hoping I would hear back from the seamstress who was chosen to sew dresses from my gown.  For those of you not familiar with this program, this group of volunteers restitches donated wedding dresses into angel gowns for babies who are called to Heaven after birth.  They make gowns in differing sizes for micro preemies up to full birth deliveries.  They also make demise pouches for babies too small for a gown or who have skin that is too fragile.

I recently received a message from the seamstress, Sherry!  I was so excited to "meet" her on FaceBook and learn that she would be starting to work with my dress.  Sherry asked about Kendall's weight and made the first dress for her.  I can't imagine a more perfect dress to honor our precious angel.  Sherry said when she read my story she imagined Kendall dancing in this dress in Heaven.  If Kendall is anything like her sister, Reagan, I know she would love dressing like a princess and twirling until she gets dizzy.  Sherry has already made six gowns from my wedding dress to include a dress from the lining!  I am amazed at how each dress looks so different even though they are cut from the same cloth.  Each one delicately designed to be soft against the skin.

If anyone is interested in getting involved with this great organization, they are currently looking for seamstresses.  Once they are able to catch up with their supply of wedding dresses they will be accepting dresses again.  Check their website for the latest information on what donations they need.  They often need ribbon, thread, and boxes to ship gowns, etc.

Although I am not involved in stitching these beautiful gowns, I love knowing that my dress has been used to help other families who will have to face a journey like ours.  I only wish these were available when Kendall was born to help us see her beauty and innocence during such a difficult time.  These gowns really do help me imagine her dancing in Heaven.

We were lucky enough to meet Sherry and her sister Brenda who also sews gowns for Angel Gowns in Virginia.  They live in Stephen City but met us in Purcellville to give us Kendall's dress (pictured above with a blanket I had as a baby) and meet Cole and Reagan.  We hadn't shared much about this meeting with the kids…mostly because it's sometimes hard to explain.  Cole immediately gave Sherry a big hug and Reagan immediately wanted the gown for her doll.  I explained that this dress is very special and that it was for Kendall.  Reagan immediately asked when we could take it to her in Heaven and asked how we would get there.  We've talked about Heaven, but it's still somewhat confusing for them.  I explained that it wasn't our time to go to Heaven yet and that we would be keeping the dress to remember her…which created even more confusion.    Again, I explained that only our spirit goes to Heaven.  To which Reagan responded, "It's just not fair we don't get to have our sister with us. I really wish I could meet her.  I bet I would like her."  To which I responded, "Yes, honey.  You are right, but if we work really hard, we too will get to go to Heaven one day to be with her."